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My Testimony





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Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try you will never feel like life is worth the struggle?

I KNOW, I have been there myself!

         Several years ago I was at Sunday School Ladies' Fellowship.  A friend of mine had just given her testimony.  She spoke of being sexually abused as a child.  She went on to say that she had forgiven her abuser. This abuser had been a family member.  She was excited because she had taken the opportunity to go home and see her family.  This included her abuser.  She reported having a wonderful time.  I was appalled!  I pulled her aside and told her that I thought she was nuts to forgive this person.  My confrontation with her hinged on the fact that I had no idea what forgiveness meant.  You see, I too am a victim of child abuse.  I was not sexually abused; my abuse had been physical and emotional abuse and had left me feeling worthless, bitter, and secluded from the rest of the world.  I blamed all my feelings on the past and I had NO intentions of ever forgiving my abuser. I am not sure why I shared with this woman my feelings concerning my past, I had never shared anything with anyone before.  We were raised with the notion that you do not "air your dirty linen in public".   Just a few days after speaking to this first friend, another situation came about where a second friend got me to tell her about my history.  Between these two ladies, I was convinced to seek counseling.
          I was saved in 1983 at Liberty University in Lynchburg.  To be saved means that I recognize that I am a sinner. Knowing that Christ was born of the virgin Mary to grow into a God-man that had never done anything wrong, would choose to die on the cross as a sacrifice for my sin.  I must by faith accept the fact that Jesus rose from the dead after three days to ascend to heaven where He is preparing a home for me.
          Christ wiped out my sins but I had a splinter of bitterness deep in my heart that I did not want Him to touch.  Rather than fight with me at the time, He decided to allow the splinter to work its way out on its own.  When the first friend brought up the subject of forgiveness Christ said, "Okay, Mel, its time for you to deal with this as well."   What I needed was to learn the real meaning of forgiveness.  I had the mistaken idea that forgiveness meant that you let the person who had hurt you off the hook.  This is sooo far from the truth.  The only thing that will blot out my abuser's actions is their repentance.  Forgiveness just means that I do not have to continually live with the anger, bitterness and pain from the past.  Christ paid the debt for my abuser's sin.  My abuser will answer to Christ.  I can  give myself permission to let it go and not dwell on the memory. 
          I also had to accept what God says about me.  I had been made to think that I was a worthless piece of trash.  This could not be farther from the truth!  God created me in His image.  He pronounced me worthy.  The Father sent His only Son, Jesus to die on the cross for my sin!  Would He have let His Son die for me if I was not truly wanted by Him?  It took 6 months of counseling and a few years in a suppoprt group but I have gotten to the place where I have forgiven my abuser.  I now work in my Church's Freedom Ministries helping others deal with depression over painful memories.  Please email me if you have something in your past that is so painful you think you will never get over the hurt.  I have some good news to share with you


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More on What I believe:
What do I mean when I say I am saved?
How can a person be saved?
How can Christians say that Jesus is the only way to Heaven?