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- You believe the staff
room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
- You find humor in other
people's stupidity.
- You want to slap the
next person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your
summers free!"
- You believe chocolate
is a food group.
- You can tell it's a
full moon without ever looking outside.
- You believe "shallow
gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.
- You believe that
unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure
are mellow today."
- When out in public you
feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
- You have no time for a
life from August to June.
- Marking all A's on
report cards would make your life SO much simpler.
- When you mention
"vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
- You think people should
be required to get a government permit before being allowed to
reproduce.
- You wonder how some
parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
- You laugh
uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."
- You believe in aerial
spraying of Prozac.
- You encourage an
obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.
- You believe no one
should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary
setting for at least 5 years.
- You've ever had you
profession slammed by someone who would never DREAM of doing your job.
- You can't have children
because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on
high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.
- You think caffeine
should be available to staff in IV form.
- You know you’re in for
a MAJOR project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to
discuss. I think it would be such fun!
- You smile weakly, but
want to choke a person when he/she says, "Oh, you must have such FUN
every day. It must be like playtime for you.
- Your personal life
comes to a screeching halt at report card time.
- Meeting a child's
parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?
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